so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
