we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
