I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I want to fling myself into the sun
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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