Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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