I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
