I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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