I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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