oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
