She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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