And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
