No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
