so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
