okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
