Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
