Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize