Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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