He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
