i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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