Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize