so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
