I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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