1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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