so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
