I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
