Your mouth is God's brothel.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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