They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
vagina is talking i cant
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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