she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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