if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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