if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The power of my boobs compel you
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
