It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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