I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
two words...techno handjob
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
