I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
