Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
