he wants to bone in the snuggie
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
