Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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