oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
