i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
