question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
