I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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