What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
