that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I need water and some morals
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
