Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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