you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
