the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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