TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
