Duck Duck Cougar?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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