girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
