$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
