Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
