I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
