Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
