it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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