ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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