the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
