I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
