ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
