my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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