bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
