Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
