Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
